March 2010
A very scattered memory.
I used to make little people out of pipe cleaners. They were about 2 inches tall, with unraveled yarn for hair and cloth hotglued together for dresses. These little pipe cleaner people had no faces, but somehow had more charecter than if they had. I used these handmade dolls as a substitute for storebought barbies and real friends; it was cheaper and i could tell the story however i wanted. My...
I need to relax.(let it outttt)
AHHH i sound so angsty when i write. Right now i am furious and i dont know why. I hate immaturity. Sometime’s I’m the essence of immaturity (but i never let you see that side). i miss so many people, but they don’t miss me back. Tomorrow will be a great day (me and kyra are scrapbooking our ugly middle school years). My lips are so chapped they look like pepperoni slices. ...
its a headache
caused by screaming children
and an aching ankle (i heard somewhere your feet nerves coincide with brain waves)
and sad parents
and breathing tubes
and the lack of water (i dont hydrate)
and c-sections
and distant howls (of pain)
and early mornings
and silent children.
I'm screaming at them all in a foreign language.
Hello there gorgeous, it’s your natural beauty talking.
Lately, my dear, you’ve been abusive. You’ve choked me in powder or fried me with a straightener. You’ve poked me or pulled me or waxed me or surgically removed me. Remember when you were 7 and you and i happily coexisted? Well i want that back. Now I’m asking nicely, because beauty is never cruel; dont let...
The awkward transition between a "that 70's show"...
Donna: Eric! what an adorable baby! whered you get it?
Eric: I dont know. I just found it!
Donna: well, you can just fuck yourself.
Eric: what?
Donna: if your going to choose that slut over your entire family, than get the fuck out of this house.
Eric: Fine, I already have my bags packed.
Donna: Just leave dammit.
old habits unearthed
lalala freeeeeeeeedom isnt quite so free when you have no initiative.
[»i eat too much, drink too much. i want too much. too much.]
[»i want a haircut. long hair reminds me of your fingers.]
Why boys suck.
Lift, inhale, hold, pain, hold, hold, shudder, shake, hold, release, gasp, repeat. dont get fat, don’t get fat.
[»missing you comes in unusual ways.]
memories are getting fainter
My life’s been pretty great lately. I understood my math test, I packed my favorite lunch, we beat broad run, my friends are amazing. whats wrong then? i feel like there’s an underlying horror story zombie about to burst from the sewers.
[»Hey, please stop the modesty act. It’s painful how you pretend that girls dont gaze at you longingly, or memorize your music, or that...
I love you so much. Thank you for turning my awful couple of days around. (:
ps i cant wait till we’re tan
pps i cant wait till new york(:
ppps i’m glad you’ll always be there for me to say that i have gorgeous hair and perfect teeth :)
now for ap work…
don’t buy me candy if you’re going to tell me i’m fat.
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitty day.
sick of drama (especially the drama which thrives on human nature’s inability to make up your DAMN MIND…), sick of couches, sick of rain, sick of thinking, sick of ugly picture angles (it could’ve been such a pretty picture…), sick of his eyes, sick of his smile, sick...
It'll take more than some chocolate and a...
I was more terrified than i’ve ever been in my life today.
There was something in your eyes that was so animalistic, so ready to kill.
I never cried so hard in my life.
Don’t even try to appolegize, because tears are the only thing you’ll get from my brother and I.
[»i’m still shaking, but don’t let that bother you.]
My eyes are so green when they're rimmed with red. →
I feel uncharecteristically beautiful at this late hour of the night. I know if only you could see me, you’d agree. So climb up my balcony and tap on my window; cliches are always the most romantic, and i can only wait for so long.
[»how i resist the drugs, sex, and alcohol that constantly threats my vows of innocence: oblivion for 3 hours.]
Let this be the last time. [random thoughts]
My darling doggy: you make more friends in minutes than i have in years.
Michael han: you are moving to utah. i should be at your goodbye party right now, but that is impossible, and i am sorry.
Facebook makes goodbyes so much harder.
I love the thin feeling achieved a few hours after running.
I cried today during the run, and i cried afterwards as well.
My mom offered to take me on an...
In that in-between state, where you listen to snow...
God i am so unstable; my leg is shaking, my thoughts are scattered. My style is…far too comfortable and hastily thrown together. My mascara has dwindled to one or two coats, often without any liner to add dimension. But the more i read your thoughts, fellow bloggers, the more i fear instability is far too common to be considered a condition.
We need cleaner soil to lay our roots upon.
...
Simon
Because i don’t know how else to describe my weekend.
Simon is 7 years old. He has big blue eyes, soft brown hair, and a permanent frown carved to match the crease formed between his eyebrows. Simon wears shoes with no laces and clothes picked out by his mom. Simon likes cars and explosions, cardboard guns and pokemon.
Simon pushed me away when i said hi. Simon told me to “shut...
In heaven, i’ll spend eternity snuggled in the backseat of a car, listening to my ipod as the trees and pavement flies by.
but for now, i’ll do my best to make someone smile this weekend.
http://www.speciallove.org/BRASS%20Weekend.html <—if you’re curious about where i’ll be. I’m finally returning to the place that made me laugh out loud when every other...
I need a shaker
it could be you.
Dont let me walk all over you, it’s not good for either of our esteems. My whole life i’ve been content with jogging lazily through the tall grass and sweet flowers, while my more talented friends sprint ahead in the less scenic route. Disturbingly enough, my pace has quickened, and the flowers seem dark and sour to my tearing eyes.
There’s a raving little...
I haven't lost my innocence completely [pinky...
I copy people(their likes, their style, their quirks). I’m just pretty sneaky about how I do it. Or maybe it’s more obvious than i thought.
I love 5am.
With a few exceptions, i don’t like talking. this however, doesn’t mean i don’t not want to be included in your conversations.
I’m very inconsistant in personality and beleifs.
I like making lists. I have...
you are the ode to the dust and cobwebs i tried to...
golly gosh and a pile of lollipops, you’re so perfectly innocent.
the way you wear your hair(boyishly long and unbrushed) and dress(in oversized tshirts). how you squirm and blush at contact; how youve never been kissed.
incredibly unromantic. and yet i’m happier than i’ve ever been.
[»holler if your concept of attraction and starry-eyed love is completely fucked up.]
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than...
If i told you something today, (with one exception) it was a lie.
i’m so afraid to talk about how i feel, mostly because i’m not exactly sure what this feeling is. and if i’m not sure what i’m feeling, i have no business involving others in my thoughts. i’m not even sure why i open my mouth, as honest abe says, i sound like a fool wanting some gossip. which is, of...
my sudden obsession with snow patrol? →
i really, really wish i was nocturnal.
it’s so beautiful outside at 5 in the morning. almost like the ocean, with the sweet salty smell and the gentle rain in your face and the breeze….
what else am i missing out on?
eh..the title i wrote before didnt really fit my...
I really don’t want to be your new best friend. i dont really want to be anyone’s best friend. i find that the more time i spend with my “friends,” the more i crave a disney movie and a cup of hot chocolate. lately the only conversations i really enjoy are the deep, analyzing ones. or the nerdy, quirky conversations that i would hardly be caught talking about anywhere...
